THE WAITING GAME...
Updated: Feb 12, 2019
Yesterday my parents celebrated their 24th wedding anniversary. 24 years! Love is so beautiful. I dream of someday being able to experience a happy and lasting marriage myself. But just thinking about falling for someone and spending a lifetime with that person is pretty mind boggling to me (in a good way of course). For this reason, I know I've got to practice patience and wait for God to send the one instead of trying to rush into something not meant for me!
I've definitely become a pro at the waiting game. I wasn't allowed to date in high school, but when I started college, I was just as excited to get an education as I was to finally be allowed to find the person I'd spend happily ever after with. I mean I'd seen the movies...heard the stories...finding a soul mate in college is what's supposed to happen, right? Well, if your college is anything like mine, and if you're anything like me, you'll likely find that many of the guys are really immature and merely on the hunt for one night love interests. Their slick little pick up lines are honestly kinda funny but super disappointing all at the same time. I literally had a guy hanging out the backseat of his best friend's ride trying to holler at me...like no thank you! Because of this, most of the guys I initially thought were cute turned out to be far from my type. So here I am, still in college...still waiting.
With the annual summer love bug going around, it can be v annoying to watch and wish you had a bae. It took some spiritual growth, but I'm actually cool with being solo. In the past, God has always sent blessings my way when the time was right, so I have nothing to worry about, and neither should you! I have close friends who have gone through terrible breakups and relationship experiences, and like me, they're waiting for the light at the end of the tunnel. In the meantime, we should focus on growing a relationship with God and discovering more about ourselves in the process. Matthew 6:33 makes it clear that we should "be concerned above everything else with the Kingdom of God and with what He requires of [us], and He will provide [us] with all these other things." So what's the rush?
While you're waiting or even while you're dating, here are ten tips to help you out through the process.
1. Know yourself before you allow another person to share your life with you. Figure out who you are, and strengthen your walk with God. Set personal goals for yourself, and start completing them before bae is in the picture. Set standards for yourself and for what you want in a boyfriend. When a bae finally does come along, don't compromise your morals to please him. Keep God first!
2. Don't rush your life away. If you're in a season of singleness, you're in it for a reason. There is so much you need to do and should do as a single person, and there are so many things you may not be able to do when you're in a relationship. I'm not talking about anything crazy. But you could be spending time traveling as much as possible or having as many girls' nights as you want. Plus, why hurry into things when God has you right where He wants you?
3. We all want to find our other half, but we should remember that God is the only "He" who can truly complete us. Just by loving Him and living for Him, we are complete! Until we are satisfied with His presence, we won't be satisfied with anyone else's.
4. Don't search, be found. God will lead the one to you in His timing!
5. Guard your heart. It's easy to get distracted out there. Ignore all that too smooth to be true talk, and tell 'em "BOY BYE!" Don't get me wrong, there's nothing bad about a cute pick up line. Just learn the difference between the ones with good intentions and the ones with bad intentions. Let them know where you stand and, better yet, Who you stand with.
6. There ARE good guys out there, but you've gotta work for a good thing. The qualities you're looking for in a guy are often similar to what your guy is looking for in you. If you're searching for honesty, are you honest? If you want someone who has a great personal relationship with God, do you have one?
7. Be picky, and don't settle. Seeking someone with the same morals and similar outlook on life is super important. Finding someone to build a lifelong relationship with takes a lot of dedication, prayer, and discernment. There's nothing wrong with asking God for the specific qualities you want in a boyfriend/future spouse. But don't ask and think God won't come through. He ALWAYS comes through when what you ask for is in His will. You've gotta believe (James 1:6). If you've been through a few breakups, I'm sure not settling can be pretty rough because you just want to find the onealready! But this is where that patience comes in again.
8. Date with purpose. You were created with purpose and so was your future spouse. Your purpose remains the same with or without a significant other in your life, so be sure the person you date will compliment your purpose, not hinder it.
9. Be open and honest. Hey if you want to really get to know someone, you've got to be real with them. Being your truest selves with each other is what will make you fall in love.
10. Enough with all the deep stuff...let's be real. Physical attraction is a thing (not everything, but definitely a thing)! Oh trust, that my man will be fine to me...as he should be! But be strong, and don't let those charming looks allow you to compromise before your relationship is sealed with two "I Do's." Keep the love of God and Jesus in your heart, and allow the Holy Spirit to guide you in doing the right thing.
Well, I really hope you enjoyed this post, and I pray that God will bless you with all that you're looking for in a relationship! Check out the links below for additional verses to reference whether you're in the waiting game, the dating game, or beyond both. Let me know what you think of this post in the comments section below!